Urbanaist is for all our Urbana pals. Comments are Anonymous.

I believe that this party was proof Britney Gebka is no longer e-popular.

This is actually more of an apology than anything else. For those of you who don’t know a couple months back, at Blue Valentine, Agatha had a little wardrobe malfunction. She popped out of her halter apparently, and I was like the last person to find out. The key thing is that no one noticed for a while, I even looked at Sarah O’s facebook album before this fiasco and it didn’t jump out at me. Anyway someone noticed.

So like the total creep I am, I asked around for the photo to no avail. Bear in mind this is a purely journalistic pursuit, I could care less about titties on the internet. Jade made it a point to go on and get me and trouble for all of this, and for her part she’s totally right, I was in full on troll mode.

So I apologize, Agatha and I want to make it up to you by taking your Tuesday shift. They can write me up as much as they want, I love getting in trouble.

I was considering writing this post in order to try an get some of you playing, but I just don’t care anymore.

If you are interested drop me your gmail in the comments but otherwise this is an explanation of why I haven’t been writing for a while. Since I have no idea where to start with regards to all the backlogs of parties and stories, for the time being I’m going to start with the most memorable party drama in recent weeks.

Pic as always unrelated.

Fri - 3/14

After class on Friday we saw Toomey’s girlfriend Máirín on her way to the campus from his residence at 700 Illinois. We asked her where she was going, grilling her in a friendly tone for information. It totally worked, she told us where and when Toomey had class, and even offered us a ride up to Chicago! We staked out the Transportation building and had lunch after taking him out. Jade is now tied with Lauren Messina for most kills with 2.

Tue - 3/11

I don’t even want to go into how funny this picture is. Gratz on your first kill Gebka!

While Urbana is having a good ‘ol time debating building-exits and pre-planning foot routes, those Champaign kids are getting quietly murdered. On the other hand, with some people you can tell they won’t last.

Does this look like the face of a vicious assassin? Someone told me she had +3 kills the first day. I think they may have been exaggerating. On the other hand Rex was honestly terrified of Nancy - he told me so himself. She’d be a good ally if you were looking for some help or revenge.

My very own kill! I was going to try and take a class with her, so I just looked up that class in the course catalog. I was going to be all sly and hide behind a newspaper while scoping out the bike racks and the entrances to the armory, but she just walked right up to me as we passed each other. For a second she thought about fleeing, but gave up. A good thing too because I don’t chase anyone for nothing.

And this is how I wound up with Jade as my target. After class I was gonna try and catch Jade after work so I walked up and down Illinois before I decided it was a better idea to go see if she was actually home - I knocked and she let me in!

Anyway after pumping her and Rex for all the info I could get I left. She told me to my face she had put out a hit on me, and I made the mistake of telling her when I work. She told me that her and Rex were planning a hit - I show up to work and the hit is apparently on Rob Shepard and now me too!

We both made it out alive, I think, her lazy ass apparently can’t even pull off a clean hit.

But now I’m fucking pissed off! Jade! You and Rex have got to be stopped! I don’t know how you managed to round up all the intel from everyone, probably by promising to help them, but now I know about as much as you and Rex combined!

Everyone’s pissed at you Rex you dirty cheat! You and Jade have been instigating all of the good kills up until now, who are you going to backstab next? You can’t get away with it any more, and when your time comes it’s going to be sweet.

We are all determined not to let 708 win this game!

Another round of house parties from two months ago. If you’re complaining that it’s all the same people all the time, take some pictures of your friends and tell me about them. I am desperate for content all the time.

“Dudes line up on the left for high-fives, ladies line up on the right for make-outs.” Fine, I’ll defend these two. What’s wrong with getting totally obliterated at a party and making out with some random girl for like a half-hour? It’s not like we all haven’t done it, it’s just that it looks fucking weird when it’s not you doing it. No but really this guy has some of the wackiest clothes on. It’s not just the godawful patterns or the cheap fabric or even the retarded accessories - he had a Brokeback Mountain jacket on and I just cannot let that fly.

This was right before all the yelling. My motto on New Year’s was ‘2008! ANOTHER YEAR OF TRANSITIONING BETWEEN SHOUTING AT PARTIES.’ This holds especially true here. Jeremy was at this point drunk enough to get in on the fun. Then Cal shouted EVERYONE! EXCUSE ME! and everyone stopped yapping for a second so they could see what the fuck he was shouting about. Then he goes THE COPS ARE HERE. THE COPS ARE HERE! EVERYONE WHO IS NOT CIRCUMCISED HAS TO LEAVE at which point everyone went back about their business. We all got kicked out by 3.

These are mostly stolen from Nancy, though there are a few from the Unit 1 website.

We were all so amped when it started getting nice out, and I spent way to much time not studying and playing foursquare. It got kinda nuts sometimes, there was only one ball and it was always in use. I would come back to Allen after class and people would already be playing. We played straight foursquare with a strict focus on speed, fuck special bounces or gimmicks. Plus with just one ball, it had to go fast when the line was seven deep.

This is a cute pic. No idea who took it, but you get a better sense for how nice was that afternoon.

Nancy’s and Unit 1’s pictures are from the same day, Marty brought his portable record player down for foursquare with tunes. These are my awesome records. Maiden vinyl is one of my most treasured possessions.

Oh man. Solecki had this giant thing for the Ghostbusters theme. Beth and Caryn are just goofing off but Kevin’s really really into it. Maybe someone will help me remember the other song that Marty played that he would freak out about.